Perils of Fort Awesome

Chiller 2008 oil on convas 80x120 cm

2009-03-21T05:41:00.001-07:00

Chiller 2008 oil on convas 80x120 cm, originally uploaded by laurent impeduglia.

Amazing work by Laurent Impeduglia from Flickr. The characters in this work are super, especially the caveman and Monseiur Atlantique.

Claire in H.S.

2008-11-05T14:07:00.000-08:00

I so would have had a crush on Claire in high school. I can see Eleanor in her face here. Fast forward another ten years and there's Eleanor.

Him and his Hollywood Buddies

2008-08-21T05:31:00.000-07:00

Last night I dreamt that while I was Djing a party, I was accosted by Tom Cruise. He said that the next song on my list better be a Fonzie song from Happy Days. I sarcastically thanked him and his "Hollywood buddies" for ruining my summer and then proceeded to mock him while mimicking one of his masturbation sessions, shouting, "oooh Xenu, I'm clear! I'm Thetan!" Then I punched him in the throat and he coughed and sputtered trying to stand up straight.

As Robot as they wanna be...

2008-04-05T06:35:00.000-07:00

Continuing the theme of dudes in little cars...

My best friend Nathan had a Tubeway Army mural that he painted on his wall in his suburban Houston home. This clip brought back some memories of making crummy home recordings with him where I tried to sound as robot as possible.

Hint Hint

2008-03-28T10:52:00.001-07:00

My birthday is coming up in May... ahem.

2008-03-26T18:08:00.001-07:00

New Portishead coming out soon

2008-03-21T09:20:00.000-07:00

I've avoided playing their older albums because I burnt out on them in a major way. I'm glad to have something new to listen to.

Would you please pass the jelly?...

2008-03-19T10:43:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_nXITunzwE

I'm the idiot guy at the fancy horse party.

Battlefield 2142

2007-09-25T09:31:00.000-07:00

Just thought you'd like to know that Battlefield 2142 for the Mac is a piece of shit. Thanks EA! If I'd known it was going to be this buggy, I'd not have bothered. Caveat Emptor: if they promise you the moon, they'll show you a big dumb rock that is now a drink coaster.

My copy of the game opens and when I try to join a multiplayer game, it crashes and goes back to the OS. Electronic Arts, you are all hype and no promise. Electronic Arse, more likely. There is zero support for the Mac gaming community in this release.

Fan Prose?

2007-04-19T20:46:00.000-07:00

This essay first appeared in a zine I wrote in winter of 1997. Trick Hips #2 was the love themed issue and this was supposed to be funny/serious in the way that fan fic isn't. Should this be characterized as fan prose?

Star Trek: First Contact

Sexual Pun and the Ideological Metaphor: Late Capitalism vs. Islamic Fundamentalism

"Engage... In some sex!" -Capt. Jean-Luc Picard

I recently saw this movie and while impressed with it (i.e. not disappointed that I paid full price for it), I couldn't help but do the art student thing and look for a hidden meaning in all of it. Aside from the virginity pun in the title, there are some visual ones interspersed in this, the sexy Star Trek movie as critics have penned it. So the Borg speak as a collective through their hive queen. In the first showdown, Picard uses his big guns (i.e. penis) to target the clitoris of the Borg cube, whereupon the Borg cube explodes in orgasm/climax while the Ben Wa ball/egg/escape craft leaves the cube to create a "temporal rift" (I need space!). Picard follows it and somehow the Borg transport onto his ship the Enterprise (i.e. moneymaker) and begin "assimilating" the crew. What might be called "adding a feminine touch" to a bachelor pad now becomes the Borg controlling the most powerful ship in the universe. Star Fleet is in effect (and pardon my French) pussy-whipped. Picard holds his ground and retains part of the ship (i.e. his den/library/workshop). I'm going to stop using "i.e." now.

In the latter half of the twentieth century, capitalism has triumphed over communism (sort of). The Washington spin doctors have decided that our next enemy is fundamentalism, namely the Islamic variant. I was watching the Borg episode of Star Trek one night when I switched to a news report from Mecca where thousands of holy pilgrims marched around this giant cube. I couldn't help but think of the Borg cube and its collective. Faith (religious) is something that survives attack because those that have faith believe that they will be delivered from any sort of "evil" that comes their way. They don't mind sacrificing themselves for the good of the collective. I thought about the Enterprise and its crew of supposedly utopian citizen-soldiers who totally believe in free will and self-determination and how this is antithetically opposed to the Borgian ideal. Star Trek's entire premise is based upon the good guys being these entreprenurial explorers looking for "new life and new civilizations." For what reason? So they can trade with them most likely. we laugh at these episodes and their corny futuristic idealism. The one time that late capitalism/Star Fleet comes up against religious fundamentalism/the Borg, Star Fleet does everything in its power to stop the assimilation.

In the final showdown of the movie, Picard realizes that his way of life could be seriously in jeopardy. Picard opts to be a wolf-in-sheep's clothing in a sense. He sets the auto-destruct sequence in motion and offers himself to the Borg Queen while his crew escapes so that they can one day spread the gospel of free will and economic self-determination. I suppose that our culture will have to put up with these pitiful allegories until anyone who actually remembers the Cuban Missile Crisis dies (Baby Boomers). In the final sequence of First Contact, Picard confronts the Borg queen, offers himself up, and Data provides the last nifty plot twist. Picard struggles, the warp drive coolant tower is breached, and Picard climbs to safety as his glorious toxic chemicals eat away at the flesh of the Borg. In a sense, he lets out a big fart and everyone except he and Data perishes in the spill. They are guys, you know. They can handle the odiousness. Or is it odorousness?

--- The opinion expressed herein is mine and I don't care if you disagree. There's far too much assimilation these days, anyway. Send comments to me at address withheld.

Rainbowtastic

2007-04-13T21:35:00.000-07:00

In Light of the Season

2007-04-07T10:22:00.000-07:00

Not Bob, Eleanor

2007-02-27T09:42:00.000-08:00

Eleanor and I have been collaborating lately. I appreciate her editorial prowess. She is ruthless when she needs to be.

Ummm...

2007-02-23T07:04:00.000-08:00

Eleanor started acting like a robot on the way to dinner last night. She said her name was Mrs. Applebees.

My heroes

2007-02-19T18:15:00.000-08:00

What up, Wiggas!

Bonjour Monsieur Courbet

2007-02-01T05:13:00.000-08:00

Bonjour Monsieur Courbet
Originally uploaded by trickhips.

Eleanor says that Krets has some parents. Krets's momy is called Kerk and Krets's daddy is called Kertz.

What's shakin'?

Funny Things Eleanor Has Said Recently

2007-01-24T19:37:00.000-08:00

1. Two months ago there were monsters, monsters everywhere!

2. It tastes like ghost.

3. There's a monster that lives in my bed called Kretz. He's a girl and he's my friend. He is slimy.

They Became What They Saw

2006-11-23T08:23:00.000-08:00

Artist Statement

2006-10-19T15:54:00.000-07:00

Patrick Phipps is an artificially intelligent hospital bed otherwise known as Roujin Z. He has responded to the wishes of his patient and set out on a journey through the city, grabbing bits of machinery and art along the way to assist the free will of his patient, an elderly man. The police have thrown up everything they can against Roujin Z/Patrick Phipps, but still he persists in symbiotically attaching himself to anything that he finds interesting. This organo-mechanical mass stretches its tentacles out to such a point that the center core is no longer recognizable. The symbiont/patient is protected deep inside the core.

Patrick Phipps/ Roujin Z came to life in either a hospital in Texas City or Tokyo. No one is sure. His measurements are 100”x100”x100” from time to time. His turn-ons include food, electricity, and small cars. Turn-offs include utility workers, police, ageists, and computer viruses. One day Roujin Z/ Patrick Phipps hopes to own a complete collection of the seminal music video and culture show from 1980s era USA Network, entitled Night Flight.

comput0r

2006-10-17T09:38:00.000-07:00

i'm joining the ranks of the living. i just got off the phone with Apple. my new (refurb) laptop will ship shortly. delivery should arrive sometime between Thursday and Tuesday. rock!

Ich war ein Dirndl...

2006-10-10T19:36:00.000-07:00

Zombichien

2006-10-10T19:34:00.000-07:00

I Feast On Your Corpse

2006-09-20T05:19:00.000-07:00

Alfred E. Fanny

2006-09-01T17:05:00.000-07:00

((o))

2006-08-31T19:28:00.000-07:00

(˚)˚)

2006-08-30T19:21:00.000-07:00

What bubbled to the surface of my mind.

boring shit

2006-08-08T11:28:00.000-07:00

You are 93% REAL Texan!!

High five, you're a complete Texan. People from other states should tremble in your presence because they're simply not worthy. Let them bow before you and convey their undying adoration to you while they announce their true desire to be Texan.

How Texan Are You?

Modern Pooetry

2006-08-03T15:16:00.000-07:00

im in ur base killin ur d00dz by allseeingeye

'im in ur base killin ur d00dz' he said
Sans-serif and blue,
left of the bobbing crosshair,
while the polygon world slipped by.

Finally,
here at the end,
we danced while the ghosts of our brothers swam in the ether betwixt us.
I clutched my gun like a lonely child and sought your heart.

'joo r a lamer',
impish and coquettetishly teased.
I feel my breath catch at the collar of my cotton t,
the tension of the hunt dancing on my skin, foxfire.
I am coming for you.
I am the Tyger Tyger, burning bright.

'omg suxxor'
you scream when the pixels collide
you blossom into a fountain of blood,
replacing your pseudogruff outer shell with the tender boy beneath.
We all wear masks here.
Only in death does the truth briefly play on our senses,
deep in our virtual cocoon.

'camper!!1' 'rocketwhor!@' you cry, briefly,
as it all comes apart, the world,
the avatars of our bloodlust,
the bodies of the fallen.
The next map loads and the chess board is reset.
We're all pawns here, pawns with airs of royality.
I exhale slowly and let the mouse button creak back to neutral.

'gg'

I agree, my angsty young paramour.
Love is a Good game.

Man, the future sure is a fun place.

I Liketa Move it Move It

2006-07-31T17:50:00.000-07:00

I Liketa Move it Move It
Originally uploaded by trickhips.

I like ta move it move it.
I like ta move it move it.
I like ta move it move it.
I like ta... move it.

Loving this mod for Unreal Tournament 2004 called FragOps. It's the closest I can come to CounterStrike for my Mac. I would possibly even buy this were it a full-priced game. Unfortunately, there's not much in the way of online competition. There are no servers to be found. I guess I'm late to the game. For now, I play botmatches.

BFA

2006-07-29T19:48:00.000-07:00

BFA
Originally uploaded by trickhips.

I have a Bachelor of Fart Arts from this fine institution. I went up to Austin on Friday to see a show I'm in. I took a look at the new Blanton Museum and walked around campus for a bit. The HRC has a great show on right now about the technology of writing and the history of photographic processes. I saw Edgar Allan Poe's desk and an original handwritten manuscript by Charlotte Brönte that had about 3 or 4pt. type. Later, my friend Carolyn took me to the Crown and Anchor for a beer on UT's dime.

duhhhhhh

2006-01-02T19:49:00.000-08:00

errrrrrrrrrr, duhhhhhhhh

covetousness

2005-08-31T14:00:00.000-07:00

Man, just check these out. I am floored. They are just beautiful. Were I a little richer...

the stack next to my bed

2005-08-31T12:52:00.000-07:00

Next to my bed is an assortment of books and comix that I occasionally read before dozing off. I saw a list that Gary Panter did with roughly the same idea and felt inspired to share my current list with you.

• The Stacks by Marc Bell
• Lady Pep by Julie Doucet
• Raisin Pie #2 by Rick Altergott and Ariel Bourdeaux
• Themes and Movements: Surrealism by MaryAnn Caws
• Revenge of the Sith: Encyclopedia of Vehicles
• Tony Oursler: Drawings by Tony Oursler
• Bighead by Jeffrey Brown
• Satiro-plastic by Gary Panter, a facsimile sketchbook 1999-2001
• Pattern Recognition by William Gibson
• Raymond Pettibon: A Reader ed. by Ghez and Temkin
• Worn Tuff Elbow by Marc Bell
• Kramer's Ergot #4 ed. by Sammy Harkham

Looking at that list now, I guess it's really mostly comix. But they are smart comix
and I'd certainly aspire to do the kind of work those people are doing.

What's next to your bed, or on your bedside table?

JCI Mail Order Brides

2005-08-20T12:57:00.000-07:00

Claire and I saw two Eastern European mail-order brides pull into James Coney Island in their new Mercedes today. They've obviously acclimated well as they ordered with confidence and with cheese. One of them wore a white dress that was so sheer, you could see her light blue thong rather plainly. Are men really that hard-pressed to find eligible women? Maybe I've got it all wrong, but if this is the brave new world, I don't think I want to be part of it.

Gentrify me!

2005-08-19T05:43:00.000-07:00

Gentrify me!
Originally uploaded by trickhips.

Someone in the Montrose has been hitting up the signal boxes on the corners for about a year now. I pass at least two good ones on my way to work. This one reads, "Gentrify me!" I'm curious about the artist, because your eveyday street kid doesn't know the word "gentrify." Is this a Ricer gone bad? I believe the xeroxed image in this collage is a young Jesse James, if memory of those old Time-Life commercials for the Old West books serves me correctly. Maybe they've been reading Upski? I know I have, even though I look and sound totally white-bread.

gas pump ghosts

2005-08-19T05:33:00.000-07:00

gas pump ghosts
Originally uploaded by trickhips.

The Chevron station at West Alabama and Montrose has been closed for at least a year now. Some crafty street artist has begun to use the boxes covering the old pumps as a blank canvas for flyposting. We may not have WK Interact or Banksy in Houston, but we've got our own bit of street-level discourse. There are at least two of these ghosts, each on a pump box facing Montrose Boulevard. I think they've been silkscreened onto kraft paper and then wheat-pasted onto the box. I can't get close enough to tell.

Menil fetish

2005-08-18T15:55:00.000-07:00

This morning, as I walked from the building to the bookstore, I saw a young woman posing provocatively in front of the museum's foyer windows. This isn't the first time this has happened. Katy and I have watched on two other separate occasions when scantily-clad ladies gyrated and posed in front of, or near, the museum . What's going on here? Are people trying to look "arty" in their soft-core porn by posing near a museum? I'm curious to know on which website these pictures will appear.

garagestudio

2005-08-04T15:23:00.000-07:00

garagestudio
Originally uploaded by trickhips.

he view from the garage door area towards the only wallboard in the garage. Claire spent all week cleaning up and organizing things from my previous studio. the shelves in the left foreground hold tools and paintings on the opposite side. the tables were moved to the center of the space to open up more room on the walls. i plan on building a wooden grid system to mount on the cinder block wall on the right. this grid will have peg holes for hanging paintings in progress. the small opening on the right wall will house a small A/C unit.

thank you so much, sweet Claire! i love you!

Some reservations

2005-07-26T14:14:00.000-07:00

Last night, Claire and I watched a show that helped to fuel our wanderlust. Tony Bourdain has a new show on Travel Channel about (ostensibly) travelling and relinquishing control. This is a show for flaneurs. Bourdain is a rabid anti-tourist, and makes the distinction between "tourists" and "travellers," with the latter being far superior to the concerns of the former. As he says in a prmotional spot for the show, "who wants to see the world through smoked glass (of a tour coach)?"

I think the show is pretty good, but there are a few glaring problems. Being a celebrity chef, and being one under contract with the Travel Channel, means that Bourdain can afford to stay at 540-740Euro per night hotels like L'Hotel. This is certainly not an option for the average traveller. He also has an "in" with many locals that I'm sure were contacted by the Travel Channel previous to his departure. He just "happens" to run into an artisanal Absinthe distiller at a bar. I understand that all of this is neccessary pacing for an hour TV program, but it was a little hokey. The digital manipulations of the show, to add some visuals to his accounts of the absinthe drunk were entertaining. There's even a nod to Jacob's Ladder. Stupid, but funny.

The next episode finds Bourdain in Iceland in January. I'm looking forward to this. I know three people who have been to Iceland and I'm very curious.

root of all evil

2005-07-23T10:18:00.000-07:00

i got hopping mad for no good reason this morning. paying bills always sucks. somewhere along the way this month, i forgot to pay my Visa bill and got stuck with a $39.00 late fee. they also raised my limit, which i don't like for them to do. i need to have limits and spend within my means. the credit card industry is gutting the middle class more and more every year, leveraging debt exponentially.

there's some things i'd like, but i refuse to put myself into debt to get them (in no particular order):
-a computer of my own, preferably a laptop (12" Powerbook w/ Bluetooth, Airport and 1 Gig RAM would be ideal)
-a studio building
-a new watch with time zones for different cities
-a vacation for Claire and myself that is just us two, with no family obligation involved

new start to blogspot journal

2005-01-30T11:12:00.000-08:00

the day before yesterday ended up being a 12 hour day. i didn't do much when i got home beyond drinking a Fischer Alsace. sleep was dead until 7:30 when Claire stirred. yesterday morning we went to Avalon in need of a massive breakfast injection. we talked about the EggBaconChipsBeans review page that Vicky turned us on to. i had a passable cheese omelet with french fries. eleanor ate a quarter of it. this is my new diet. share my meals with the Boo and trim down at the same time.

i went in to work early yesterday to clean up the mess left from the previous night's transplantation of the store into the museum and did some rearranging of the counter. i have decided to now embark upon at least a once-yearly self-portrait. it might be drawn or painted, but it won't be photographed. i'm beginning to notice subtle changes in my appearance and i guess i'd just like a document of those changes as filtered through my head. besides, we got in a beautiful book of Ellsworth Kelly self-portraits over a forty year span and it has left me inspired. of course, Kelly has the luxury of being successful and able to devote his full time to his art. i'll give it my best shot.

this morning was our usual foray to Barnaby's. Eleanor is a spaz. banana pancake makes her go apeshit.

i'm starting to think that maybe this will be my journal of choice this year since none of my local friends read this. i can sorta say what i want.

Current Music: "Twist, Twist" off the Popshopping V.2 compilation (a comp. of German advert music from c.1963-1978)

bienvenue à Paris

2004-10-08T03:58:00.000-07:00

I am sitting in the studio of OneStarPress, my publisher. Yesterday, I took the train from Frankfurt to Paris. This morning, I walked down the rue Saint Honoré past the most expensive shops in all of Paris, where socks cost like 80Euro. I had some thé et un sandwich du poulet Tikka avec un pain au chocolat pour aprés. I saw some toys for very rich children and I shopped at Colette, the mecca of cool art book stores. This afternoon I'm to be escorted around Paris to see all the cool art shows. Oh, and I forgot... Last night we visited the Palais de Tokyo. Stunningly good place to visit.

ich bin ein Frankfurter

2004-10-06T08:54:00.000-07:00

i managed about nine hours of sleep last night after staying up all day after the flight. i woke up around 4:15am and could not sleep anymore, so i took my time at breakfast and wandered around a bit before the fair. i downloaded the fair guide via PDA infrared port when i got here so that was cool. Germany is all futuristic and shit. i had some traditional sausages for lunch today. my sales rep treated me. tonight i was going to have more traditional, but maybe i'll have noodlebar food again. i found this place i read about by Zen location. i wandered until i found it. it's a German version of Wagamama. Wagamama is better, but for Frankfurt this is good.

Today we paint...

2004-09-27T20:12:00.000-07:00

After dropping off Eleanor at daycare, I returned home to begin taping off the window casings and trim boards for our new living room color. Several hours later, the room is halfway completed. Tonight was a trip to Target for a gigantic tub of Lego Quatro blocks. Eleanor and I then returned home to play with them. My day was all about being constructive. Let's hope I can keep it up.

New beginning

2004-09-25T18:46:00.000-07:00

Wow! That's really clichéed! We've got a new house. Claire has a new job. I thought it was time for a new blog. And, now I can comment on Asslese's blog.

Monday after next, I travel to Frankfurt am Main for the world's largest book fair. While there, I have booked a train to Paris to see my publishers. It sounds so jet-set, but it's really pretty ghetto... Ghetto-fabulous! (Geez, that's not five years out of style slang-wise.) I haven't been to Paris in ten years. Christophe mentioned something about a visit to Pigalle. I know very little about Paris because I refused to watch those morons on Real World Paris. I want to see Colette and this other bookstore, Florence Loewy, that specializes in artists books. I'm staying next to the Pompidou. Before I leave Paris, I will make sure to buy a beret with 'Rusty' in cursive across the front.